iFreak Out
by Zazzles the Sandbird
Summary: Okay, the ending sucked, and it's been over a year. Time to finish this story the way it deserves.
1. Chapter 1: The Dream Begins

_Hello, Samantha. I haven't seen you in a while._

Gaah! What the… who…Where am I…..?

_Oh…..you don't know?_

Ummm, no, duh! Isn't that what I just said? And who the fudgebag are you?

_Heh heh…..I'm not surprised. It's been so long….But I won't be so cryptic if you don't want me to be. I will tell you who I am, and why you are here…..for a price._

Ummm….okaaaaay…Listen, I don't know what the heck cryptic is, or why it even matters, and I don't know who you are, or why I'm here, so I'm gonna just go. 'Kay? 'Kay.

_Go?...And just where are you going, exactly?_

I'm _going_ to….I'm going back to….. I'm…uhhhh…..how the heck do I get out of here?

_You don't. You need to be here._

Okay, listen, ya crazy skunkbag, you better tell me how to get out of here, or you're gonna wake up three years from now in an empty alleyway with an active grenade at your feet and a knife at your neck!

_Threaten all you want. I'm still going to tell you everything; why you're here, how you got here, who I am…all in due time._

…..(sigh)…Alright, fine. Talk.

_Ah ah aahh. I told you you would hear it….for a price._

Okay, so what're we talkin' about here? 10 bucks? 20? 50? I know a guy.

_No, no, dear Samantha, I am not speaking of something of monetary value. I am talking about something quite different._

Umm, I have no idea what you just said, soooo…what do you want?

_Oh, nothing much really. Just something of no use to you, that is of great value to me._

And –

_Before you ask, yes, I will tell you everything you want to know. All you have to do is give me this…. 'item'._

And that's it?

_That's it._

Fine. So what do you want?

_Your soul._


	2. Chapter 2: Insanity?

My…what?

_You heard me. I desire the temporary use of your soul._

Ummm…okay, dude, are you insane?

_Possibly. But that is beside the point. Although I suppose I should tell you that, for me to be insane, _you_ would have to be insane. And I am fairly sure your thought process is quite sound._

Wait….what do you mean, _I_ would have to be insane? Why the heck…Who _are _you, anyway?

_How many times must I say it? ALL IN DUE TIME! And you would have to be insane because, to put it bluntly, I am inside your head, a figment of your obviously diseased imagination._

You're a…..so wait…does that mean…..I'm dreaming? Hey, wait, and what do you mean, 'obviously diseased imagination'? I thought you just said…..Ugh!

_No, I am fairly sure I did not just say, 'Ugh'. I _did _say quite a while ago, however, that I require…..excuse me…..'desire the temporary use of your soul'. Would you mind allowing me to borrow it for a bit? Then we can get where we need to be, and I can tell you whatever you wish._

Wait…..you said 'temporary', right?

_Yes. I am merely borrowing it. You'll have it back before you know it was gone. I swear on my life….and yes, technically it _is_ a life, although I only exist in your mind. By the way, yes, you are 'dreaming', as you say. Of course, I am obliged to tell you that you may experience a slight unpleasant sensation in your left leg. This should only last a few seconds. Don't ask me why it happens. I honestly have no idea._

Hmmm…I _will_ get it back?

_Eventually….._

What?

_Uhhh…I'm just joking. Like I said, back before you know it was gone._

Wow. Ummm…..chiz. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but…..Carly would hate me for this…and Fre – Just take it!

_You are giving me permission to –_

Yes! Take it and go do whatever! I just want to know what the heck is going on! Oh wait. Before you go….

_Yes, Samantha?_

What _are_ you gonna do with it? My soul, I mean.

_Oh, no need to worry about that. I just want to cross off a couple things on my to-do list. Just a couple….'errands', I suppose. No harm will come to you or your soul, I promise! Please let me have it! Just for a while!_

Sigh…fine. Take it. But if you cross me….

_I swear to high heavens I won't! Thank you so very much!_

Wow. You sound pretty desperate.

_Shh. I must have absolute silence for this to work. Now, let's see….ah, yes! Ahem. Whew. Um…..oh, I'm gonna need you to close your eyes – well, your imaginary ones. Please and thank you._

Alright, fine. Here we go.

_Yesssss…..here we go…heh heh heh….._


	3. iSort Of Get Answers

**Okay, just figured a few things out. Namely:**

**I don't have to type 'Chapter _' before every chapter name.**

**This is epic awesome fun!**

**Purple should be a noun.**

**I heart pie.**

**Whenitrains7 is awesomeness in a person/thing/it?**

**This is how people type things before they start new chapters….I think. Guess I'll find out.**

**237. This is my favorite number…..and my next chapter! I mean, here's the next chapter….the number isn't the….chapter…..yeah. You get it.**

**And now, quote unquote, 'teh chapter'!**

…ZzZzZz…..ZzZzZz

_Samantha….._

ZzZzZz…..

_Samantha._

ZZZZZZZZ….

_SAMANTHA!_

Wha…..whoa. Okay. Chiz. (yawn)…So….Ummm….what's going on?

_I am finished. Your soul has been returned in mint condition. You may proceed with questioning._

Oh. Alright. Cool beans. So….mint condition, you said?

_Yes, Samantha. Mint condition._

Fine. First things first: Would you _please_ call me Sam? Or Puckett? NOT Samantha?

_Whatever you wish._

Secondly, what the heck am I doing here? I don't belong here! Whoa, where did that come from? I mean….wha?

_Okay, I'm going to assume that's all one question. The reason you're here is that, basically, this is your brain's way of sorting through the complicated mess of emotions you call a life. By dreaming this dream, you're helping your brain figure out what to next, now that you're in this whole mess._

What do you mean, 'the complicated mess of emotions I call a life', and 'now that you're in this whole mess'? What mess? I think my life is going great, thank you very much! (douche).

_Oh, you know _exactly _what I mean! Finally revealing your true feelings and self to the boy you used to hate but now think you love! Your perfect sister eating away at the back of your mind! Worrying that your relationship with Carly will suffer because you can't figure yourself out! You have _tons_ of problems! That's not even the eighth of it!_

Wait…._think _I love? At least _that_ I can be sure of! I don't think it…..I _know_ it! I….aw chiz.

_See? What did I tell you? You've got problems, Sam! Big problems!_

Oh, how would you know – Oh wait, that's right, you're a figment of my 'diseased imagination'. Whatever. Guess I know who you are now.

_Actually….umm…_

What?

_You don't know who I am. I mean, you _do_, there's just no way you could remember…..sigh….._

What are you…I _know _you?

**So…..that's it for now, I guess. Oh wait, I should be more excited…That's it! Are you hooked yet? If not, get your head out of your fudge and review please! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU! If you're still not hooked, how about this: The person that reviews me AND has the correct answer to a certain trivia question gets to be included in an upcoming chapter! Oh, and trust me, this was as tedious to write as it probably was to read. Now that I've got the ball or wheel or whatever rolling, things will be much smoother and quicker. You WILL find out what you want to, I promise. Oh, and whenitrains7, I'm thinking about how to include you too. Watch out for something in upcoming chapters! You and whoever wins will have to tell me your favorite colors, favorite animals, and your favorite iCarly dish or drink! Here we go! P.S. Didja get the song reference? Know which song it is? Answers!**


	4. iNever Even Imagined

**Okay guys. Like I said, we're finally getting somewhere. Anyway, I don't really have much to say right now, so I guess I should start writing the next chapter. 'Kay? 'Kay. But before you start actually, I just want to say, whenitrains7, you are in for a HUGE surprise. There. I said it. Now READ! READ LIKE THE WIND! READ, FORREST, READ!**

_Yes, Sam. You know me. You know exactly who I am. The problem here is, do you _remember_?_

Umm, I would say no. I have no idea who you might be right now.

_I thought so….Wait! Then again…..when is your first memory? How far back can you remember?_

I don't know…umm…..Oh! There was this one thing when I was maybe four or five…..I think it was my birthday…..and I'm in this…umm…..crap!

_Wait. You were four or five, you say? And it was your birthday?_

Yes.

_Could you perchance have been in a restaurant? Called The Gravy Boat?_

Umm….yeah, now that I think about it…..yeah.

_At a black table? With balloons in all colors of the rainbow and a purple frosted cake?_

Yes…..and I was sitting there…..in a brown chair…and this lady was there too…..in a blue dress.

_Did the lady….have….brown hair and…..blue nail polish?_

Yeah, and a chain link necklace…..I remember it glittering in the sunlight that came through the window….it….had a heart shaped jewel…

_With a letter etched into it?_

Yes…..the letter A…..I remember thinking she looked exactly like a mermaid….Wait. How the crap do _you_ know all this?

_Well….Sam…I…I…ummmm…_

Um what? WHO ARE YOU?

_Well Sam…..your name isn't Sam._

What the heck are you talking about?

_Your name is Alyssa. I know because I named you, at 2:37 p.m. on a rainy Tuesday afternoon, although I'm not sure which Tuesday._

You named me? How could you have…..my mom…Then who named me Sam?

_Sigh…..The person who named you Samantha was Pamela Puckett….._

Wha….

_Your adoptive mother. I am Sarah Mills, your biological – your real mother._

**There it is. Congratulations, whenitrains7. You are gonna be pretty dang huge in this story. People better start reviewing though. Otherwise I'm not gonna be able to include anybody else.****Oh, hey, Aly, PM me or review this and tell me what your reaction was when you read it! I can't wait to here it!**


	5. iGet A Little Scary

**Yo peoplez! Next chapter FINALLY. I know it's been a few days, but as I mentioned before, I was waiting for inspiration. And I got it, sooooo…..for good luck, I quote again, 'teh chapter'!**

Okay. I've officially gone insane.

_No, honestly. I'm telling you the truth! Believe me, Alyssa! Please, believe me!_

Thank you for confirming the fact that I am insane. Oh, and I would appreciate it if you would call me SAM, my REAL NAME!

_Oh, Alyssa…..we were so close…..SO CLOSE…_

No, we weren't! Get away from me, you….you…skunkbag!

_And how do you propose I do that? Hmmm?_

Well I don't know, maybe you – whoa, what the crap!

_There. Is that better? I'm a little farther away from you now._

But…what the…you just…how the heck…..

_Tsk, tsk, tsk…oh, Alyssa….hello again, my sweet baby._

Who the heck…._are _you?

_I believe we've already gone over this._

No we haven't…..you're a DUDE!

_Uhhh, yeah Alyssa…..duh…remember? I'm your long lost brother? That you dated unknowingly…..for like, a month?_

WHAT THE CHIZ ARE YOU SQUAWKIN' ABOUT?

_Umm…..wow…..your memory must be really horrible…ummmm_

Okay, wow. Just, wow. Okay, lemme get this straight: First, I (ahem), 'wake up' in this weird, cloudy place. Second, a strange voice starts yappin' about stuff I seriously do NOT get. Third, I give the voice my soul. Fourth, I 'wake up' again. Fifth, that stupid voice starts yammerin' again, telling me weird things about myself that are OBVIOUSLY NOT TRUE. Sixth, it makes my mind go all weird rememberin' stuff that never happened. Seventh, it tries to convince me I'm its biological daughter. Eighth, it confirms that I am insane. And finally, YOU of all people show up! God, this is so stupidly INSANE!

_Wow…..you really _are _insane._

Gee, thanks. You wanna dance? I can show you some interesting moves…..you'll be twistin' so much, in fact, that you'll be in serious pain, and may not even wake up tomorrow!

_Umm….no thank, honeybunch. But I _will _take a kiss or two, for old time's sake?_

Uh, no, no, and NUH-UH, NO WAY, NEVER GONNA HAPPEN BUSTER! Look, you hurt me in ways that even I wouldn't try to imitate. There is no way I'm gettin' back with you.

_Awww, come on, baby, lighten up. Let me at least give you a hug…..please?_

No! Go away!

_No, I don't think that's gonna work. If I'm gonna leave, I need to get to 'know' my girlfriend again first. Just…..see how she's doin', ya know? Just tell me what's going on. I won't hurt you. I won't laugh. I promise._

Sigh…_Please _go away!

_Umm…..no. Come here, let me feel you baby. Let me touch you. Let me 'know' you._

Why do you keep saying 'know' like that, you creep?

_Aw, come on, Sam. Don't tell me you've never read the Bible?_

Wait…what are you…..oh my god. GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEP!

_Heh heh…oh, come on, Sam. It's not like it's gonna hurt or something. In fact, if we do it right, it should feel nice…real nice…..just right…_

AAAAAHHHHHH!

_Oh, come on._

QUIT SAYING THAT!

_Don't worry, baby. I'll take real good care of you. Just come let me hold you in my arms….protect you from the big bad world and its big bad emotions…..come on…I'll help you…I'll hold you…come to me….come to me….cooooome tooooooo meeeeeee…coooooooome…_

!

**That's it for now. Just so you know, Once Upon A Seddie, you did NOT give me the idea for the creepy rapist part. You'll get it later. As for the rest of you, hope you enjoyed it! Again, I know it's creepy but… cliffhanger! Duhn dunh DUUUUUUUUHHHH! LOL Anyway see you again soon. **

**WBWS, E-Clementine**


	6. iGet Even MORE Scary

**Hey, guys. I am SO sorry this took so long. I can't even remember when I wrote the last chapter! I promise, from now on, I'll be MUCH more consistent, with chapters every 3 to 4 days AT THE LEAST. But anyway, now that I'm done with my apology, on to the next chapter. By the way, I've decided to try something different. I'm getting a little bored with just the dialog (which leaves something to be desired anyhow), so now we change to a third person view!**

"AAAAAAAHHHHH! Get away from me, you skunkbag!"

Sam, with a sudden burst of courage, rushed her attacker with a fury unequaled by any seen before. Her limbs flying, she rapidly assaulted him with a barrage of insults, kicks, and punches. Her infamous strength had come into play, with full force. She wasn't holding anything back.

"You idiot! You….you fudgebag! You sick, twisted, ugly, disgusting BASTARD!"

Suddenly, Sam stopped, realizing two things. One, she had just swore. Not just swore, SCREAMED a swear word. Regardless of how tough she tried to be, she had never dared allow a swear word to escape her lips. It was an….interesting feeling. It twisted her stomach into knots…but somehow, that felt good. Powerful.

Two, and this was hugely unnerving – she was hitting air. No matter where or how hard she punched, kicked, or even bit, she wasn't doing any damage whatsoever. No blood, no broken bones, not even a bruise. And the worst part – she was now right in front of her (almost) worst nightmare.

Jonah, back for his revenge.

Apparently that epic Wedgie Bouncing wasn't enough to keep him away. Sam now remembered how, for months after that fateful night, he had continued to call her, come to her apartment, _stalk her. _She hadn't told Carly or Freddie, thinking she could handle it on her own. He had begged for her forgiveness. She had, time and time again, turned him down. She absolutely HATED him with every piece of her crushed heart, even now, with three years to heal the wounds. So eventually, he gave up, slinking off to his life without her. She had thought it was over, brushed it off and forgotten all about it.

Until now.

Now, here he was again, haunting her in her dreams…..or nightmares…she really still had no idea what was going on. And she was scared. Scared for her life, her body, her soul. Scared for her friends, for her mother(s?), for everyone who knew her or had known her. Samantha Puckett was scared. But wait a second…..If she couldn't touch Jonah, than who was to say Jonah could touch her?

Enlightened by this thought, she simply turned around and walked away. And though she could still faintly hear Jonah crying out, "Sam! Sam! Please, Sam! I love you! Don't leave me again! Sam!", she continued walking with only one thought in mind – finding Sarah. But apparently Jonah could read her mind (although, according to Sarah, technically he was _in_ her mind), and what he said next wrenched her heart.

"You're not going to find Sarah that way. Or any way, for that matter. She's not around anymore."

Sam chuckled, trying to keep cool. Sure, she was a little worried, but why on Earth should she believe Jonah? With the way he talked, Sarah was probably alive and well just five feet away. But then again…..

She turned slowly, and said, "What do you mean, 'not around anymore'?"

Jonah laughed menacingly. "What do you think I mean? Even YOU aren't THAT dumb. Come on. Think about it." Then he reached into his pocket, and pulled out a screwdriver…with blood dripping off the tip.

Sam was suddenly confused. Was this some kind of joke? I mean, alright, he just pulled out a screwdriver with blood on it. It could be fake blood, right? He _was_ the kind of person to pull a sick joke like that. And besides, who kills somebody with a _screwdriver_? And besides _that_, who manages to only get blood _on the tip_? But say he had killed her….then the blood would be real. And maybe a screwdriver was the only thing he had on him, and maybe he slit her throat, which would explain the small amount of blood. Oh my God. It could go either way, couldn't it?

She hated to sound naïve, but at this point, she didn't even care: "Is that…..real….blood?"

Jonah positively cackled this time. "Of course it's real, you dipwad! You think I would go to all this trouble for a stupid _prank_? Now isn't that cute. You think you're still actually worth my time. Ha! Yeah, right."

Sam glared. "Well, since you just tried to RAPE me about ten minutes ago, it was kind of an easy mistake to make."

Jonah now had tears rolling down his cheeks from his evil mirth. "Dude, don't you get it? Wanting your _body_ doesn't mean wanting _you_, you idiot! But I guess you're too dumb to get the difference."

Sam raised her eyebrow. "So, what was all that, 'Please Sam, don't leave me' stuff?"

Jonah wiped his eyes and grinned. "Um, dude, that was only a test. I wanted to see if this time, you would come crawling back to me, like you _should have_ in the _first place_."

"WHAT? ME, come _crawling back_ to YOU? THAT'S INSANE!"

"Takes one to know one, _Samantha_," Jonah said, suddenly approaching Sam.

"Oh my God. WHY CAN'T I GET OUT OF HERE?'

**So that's it. Until next time, then.**


	7. iWonder Who

**I'd never have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes…Chapter 7 that is not the end – or, as I like to call it, the REAL Chapter 7. After more than a year, this story finally gets the 2nd half of the middle and ending that it deserves. So here we go. Yay! ^_^**

Sam was running, running for her life – or…what was this, even? What the crap do you call something that is apparently nothing more than a lucid dream, but feels so real that you think you're living in its fantasy world? …half life? No, that reminded her too much of school. Math and science and crap like that. Right, this couldn't be real, because there was no school, and the only person she had seen so far was her creepy ex-boyfriend – oh yeah, and that's who she was running from. But why? Hadn't she just come to the realization that he couldn't hurt her? But then…who _had _he hurt?

Sam (Aly?) had to know.

She slowly jogged to a stop and turned. "Tell me for real this time, what ha-"

She was talking to empty air.

She gulped, and then sighed her temporary relief. At least for now, Jonah had apparently decided to leave her alone. _Alone…_she thought. _Then again, wasn't I always alone? I mean, if this whole thing is in my demented head, then maybe I'm just talking in my sleep. Maybe I'm safe at home right now, on the couch – I probably just had some bad ham or something. Mom'll be home any minute to wake me up and yell at me for some random thing her drunk not-boyfriend did to her. _Sam paused, painfully aware of something. _Alone…in my head…safe at home…Mom…home…...alone…home alone…Mom…in my head…_

"This is some heavy chiz," she said in a rather depressing tone.

"Tell me about it."

Sam froze. There was someone behind her. Was it Jonah?

"Sorry for busting in on your dream, but…I thought maybe you needed a little company."

No…of course not. That voice…it didn't sound at all like Jonah…but it did sound like…well, she had no idea, but it was so familiar. It was killing her that she couldn't put her finger on whose voice that was, who was talking to her, offering to keep her company…

"It might help if you turn around."

Sam sighed. _Of course he knows what I'm thinking, he's in my head. _She obliged the voice, turning around slowly, as though afraid of what – who - she might discover…


End file.
